No fucking lie, okay this is the last one and I’ll stop, my cat (Albert) beats up my other cat (Socrates) so he (Albert) can sleep on the fucking piece of cardboard on the floor.
Is it bad I see hidden meaning in the way that humans soon will be?
~Future World~
“Yo! Mutha Fucka! You get the fuck away from my box, ya hear me bitch?”
Oh. That IS what we are heading towards. Shit.
| — | My life, my cats, my crazy |
HELP ME FIND THIS MAN
Yesterday I received a ticket in the mail from the police. They’re asking for a whopping $476, claiming that I ran a red light. Included with the ticket was a photograph taken by one of those automated intersection cameras. They had one thing right: it was definitely my car, making a right turn two seconds too late.
But folks, I have no idea who the driver is. It obviously isn’t me. From the imbecilic gape of his mouth to the drugged, drooped eyes, nothing about him is recognizable. The oddly sized ears, the thick-then-sparse eyebrows—I can promise you that I’ve never met someone this goofy-looking. (That said, the boldly colored cardigan is an inspired choice.)
The best explanation I can come up with is that someone stole my car while I was volunteering at the food bank or making delightful craft projects with my children.
If you know this man, please contact me. I’d like to give him a piece of my mind.
Am I the only one who thinks this looks like Finn from Glee?
I’ve been so many people, I dont know who I am now. Life is one crazy funhouse of excitement and terror ,so sometimes the only smile I have is underneath. Water drips from my hair and falls down my face, taking place of the tears i cannot shed; for all those in the world who need to cry out but cant. Cause the silence screams the loud painful truth of being a human in this world of ever changing insanity.
Michael: Behold… Jesus Christ and I bring to you glad Christmas tidings. I want to remind everyone the true meaning of Christmas. Those of you who wish to join me, that’s great. I’m excited by that. And those of you who don’t, I forgive you, but I never forget.
Toby: Wow, Michael it must be obvious how wrong this is.
Michael: Oh, the Anti-Christ. Tssssss.
The Office, 6x13 - Secret Santa
